Life lately...

So haven't had a lot going on lately. Football has started and with that brings heartbreak and sorrow if you are a Mississippi State fan. Hopefully things will get better in that area of life. In other parts of life my Grandmother found out a month ago she has breast cancer and that has been on my mind. My grandmother is the most selfless person I know. She will do anything for anybody, she has the kindest heart of anyone I have ever met. So dealing with this has not been easy especially me being in Starkville and her at home. I have never had to deal with anything like this before and this is just another sign I am getting old and so are my sweet grandparents. Another thing going on is the guy I own Vegas with has been a huge part of my life for a long time and it kills me that we have no relationship anymore. I can walk in a room and he be there and we wont speak. It is a hard thing to deal with. He was my best friend and now well it is just funny how things and people change. I MISS my Mom, since coming to college we have grown extremely close and I miss her A LOT. Life seems to move so slow but in reality I barely keep with. My relationship with God is the most important thing going on right now. I am still looking for a sign, for anything really. I find myself doubting and not trusting God. WHY? Well I cant answer that. Pray for my Grandmother and for my relationship with God and others around me. I need to be that leader that I know He has called me to be. That is all for now.

Where to begin....

Let's see here, never thought I would have a blog. But let's give this a try shall we.

I am jumping right into this. I am a Christian and struggling with my walk right now. I am a JUNIOR in college at the best college in America (Mississippi State, if didn't you know the answer to that) and look at my life and think what am I doing? Where is life headed? Am I in the right place? I hope and pray these are common questions to everyone but I wonder if they are. I have done that whole pretend like you are happy with life when deep inside you are just trying not to scream and cry. But I still am not happy with my life...why? That is my question.. I have an awesome family, my mom is the best I would not make it without her. My English bulldog Vegas is seriously my best friend. I have a group of friends I grew up with, went to church and school with that I know I can always depend on and some college friends that are awesome as well. I have a wonderful life basically but I just can't seem to get on the right path. I question so much and I guess basically I don't have the faith to just say hey God here is my life and you do whatever you want to with it. That SCARES me to death. So basically I just felt the need to express myself so I created a blog and I am not even sure if this is what you use a blog for but for my purpose this is what I am using it do. So if you read this I hope you pray for me. Just ask for faith. I think everyone needs a little more of that.

I am leaving you with this...

"Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."
Proverbs 16:3